Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
