I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
