Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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