I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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