is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
