question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
