bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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