Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
