i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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