I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
sick fucks of a feather flock together
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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