After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
