i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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