watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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