he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
