Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
