He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
