Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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