he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He better not be in your backpack
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
