Dude my mom stole all your condoms
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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