Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
