That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
