A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize