I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Randomize