D3 body, D1 cock
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
