I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
