Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
and she was petting her beer can
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize