margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
