I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
