I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
