actually, I'm a sock model
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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