question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
