Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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