is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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