we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
