Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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