remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
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