apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I see more hoeing in ur future
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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