Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He felt like a one man threesome
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
