Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
