I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
