Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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