We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
