So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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