She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
