is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
