Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize