i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
