That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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