if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
