My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
