he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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