I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
