have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
