soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
