we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
