Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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