Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
