I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
