Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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