wanna go halves on a baby?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
