you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
My vagina just recognized that song.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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